Give-A-Way!! Korean Doll in Traditional Wedding Dress

BOOK REVIEW

I have had Carol Lozier's new book, The Adoptive and Foster Parent Guide: How to Heal Your Child's Trauma and Loss, for about a month now and I’ve just finished my third time reading through it. I did so because i wanted to absorb each element of advice Carol offers so that i can help my children heal. This book is so chocked full of wonderful information and inspiration that i have already begun to implement her techniques quite effortlessly in our home. In this short time we have already experienced progress and success. I have probably read, at least once, most all of the books on the market regarding attachment and its disorders since we brought our son home in 2006 and our daughter in 2008. What i find so refreshingly different about Carol' book is that she doesn’t get caught up in the diagnosis or the science or the statistics of the outcome of children who have come from trauma and loss, she just clearly and concisely focusses on helping us to help our children while supporting and relating to us, as "normal" parents who see the bright light in our wounded child but have no idea how to reach it!

 My husband and i have flown all over the country searching for help in trying to help us figure out why our daughters behaviors were so extreme and why she was so hyper vigilant in what we thought was a loving and safe home we provided for her. We attended camps, met with local professionals and even though the diagnosis of RAD was repeated over and over again there was no resolution or guidance to help us to help her. We were extremely disheartened as we listened time and time again to the reiteration of what she had but very little hope about her prognosis or steps to try and reach and soothe her. When we were offered advice about how to help her, many measures we felt were quite punitive. It made little sense to us how using isolation and control would help her to learn to trust us and to feel safe. 

What I love so much about Carol's book is that she told us not only the why, but the how and she does it in simple, compassionate and uncomplicated steps that you can start today. This book teaches us how to reach our wounded and scared children, how to understand their behaviors and how to see behind them so we can  help them to process more clearly and communicate with us what their real needs are instead of trying to get them met in an inappropriate or dangerous ways. Carol's method and philosophy can help parents to help our children even when our kids do not have the ability to articulate their needs or fears.  In Carol's new book i have learned simple steps,which she clearly explains to address past and perceived present trauma.This book is wonderful because it doesn’t worry about the diagnosis it just treats children who have suffered so much in the past to learn healthy new ways to communicate, get their needs met in healthy ways and most importantly offers parents the tools to be the lifeline for our children, building trust and relationship that leads to healthy attachment and being able to feel the love, we want so much to provide. Carol has provided a much needed and important resource in how to gently,compassionately and effectively help our children's broken hearts!